Our Golden Retriever, Gunner, who we've had 5 years and 4 days died on Wednesday, April 21st. It was sudden and shocking and very traumatic.
Around 11:30 I was outside weeding and I noticed him running in circles. At first I thought he was just acting weird, but when he started whining, I knew something was wrong. I took him into the garage, gave him some water, and tried to get a better look. He was pacing and whining and just wouldn't settle down. I took the kids into the house to feed them lunch. I kept checking the garage and within 1/2 hour, Gunner was laying in one spot just moaning like a dying cow.
That particular day, the van was in the shop and Colombo was at an appointment. I
texted him to ask that he come straight home. I called the vet to let them know I was coming. By 12:30, Colombo had to carry him to the car.
I somehow got him into the vet's waiting room. The vet took one look and told me I needed to get him to the animal hospital RIGHT away. They stretchered him back out to the car for me. Ten minutes later, I was unloading him again, this time with much more concern.
In the exam room, they placed the stretcher on the exam table. I sat in a chair and put my forehead on Gunner's forehead and just talked to him, stroking him, trying to settle him down. He was so, so uncomfortable, but not moving at all; just kind of shaking and moaning constantly. I prayed. Honestly though, at this point I thought that the vet would have no problem fixing my dog, so in that moment I wasn't praying for Gunner, I was praying that the bill would not be outrageous.
They asked me if they could x-ray his stomach. Two techs carried the stretcher out of the room and that was the last time I saw Gunner.
I called and checked in about 7:00pm. They had sedated him to keep him more comfortable and prevent seizing. They did not know what was causing the strange neurological behavior, but guessed that it might be something moldy or poisonous that he got into. They gave him charcoal to absorb anything in his stomach and the next several hours would be a waiting game.
The next morning at 8:00 while I was working out, Colombo answered the vet's phone call, and I'm glad he's the one who took it. When I came into the kitchen, he said, "That was the vet. [pause] I'm sorry, Amy, but Gunner passed away."
Madison and I both burst into tears. I was shocked!!! I fully expected a good report in the morning.
Colombo explained that Gunner had begun to shake and act funky again and then went into cardiac arrest. They tried to revive him, but were unsuccessful.
Poor Gunner. I was so sad. It was so sudden and so weird. He was only 5 and perfectly healthy. He had never been to the vet except for annual shots. None of us got to say good-bye.
Gunner was not like a 'child' to us. He was our pet, but whether your dog is your 'child' or a complete
nuisance- no matter where they fall on that spectrum, they are still a part of your family. He was a part of the family. A part of our day. Part of our landscape. Part of our security.
Wednesday stung really bad, and all day long we had reminders. Every time I walked into the living room I saw his bed. When I pulled into the driveway after
Tae Kwon Do there was no happy yellow dog to greet the van. When I opened my purse to pay at the grocery store his leash was still there from the day before. In the mail that day I received the reminder postcard from his vet for his annual visit. After church, there was no jingle of his collar when we walked through the door. As I cleaned off my desk I found his rabies tag in an envelope. Open, raw wound + salt.
I cried through most of the day. It just hurt. I knew the pain would subside with time, but the sting was so great! He was definitely
my dog. I was the one who trained him. I slept on the kitchen floor next to his crate the first three nights as a puppy so he wouldn't miss his mom.
He was the BEST dog! He was loyal, mellow, obedient, friendly, great with the kids, stuck around the yard, didn't bark, didn't dig, didn't steal food, didn't lick, didn't smell, didn't chew...just the BEST.
I came across this picture (taken only 2 weeks
ago) and this is how Gunner usually was...
chillin'. He liked to be near us. Not interested in the boys' food...just happy to be a part of the family.
Madison was quick with the tears, but C4 took it very hard. Especially at night. C4 always felt safe knowing that Gunner was watching over the house. Through the day, though, he was playing Life on his
iTouch and his career was 'vet'. He said, "Mom, why today? I didn't even know you could be a vet on that game." Then later he opened a calendar someone gave him and flipped to the month that the 'veterinarian' is
displayed. He was saddened by these coincidences.
Trevor could see all of us sad and said, "It's sad cause Gunner's sick." He doesn't quite comprehend the finality of it.
Nathanael cried a little when we told him, but didn't dwell on it. He asked if Gunner went to heaven. I told him no, not wanting him to think that animals have souls, but I said that if there is some sort of a pet heaven, that Gunner is definitely there. Nathanael made a card. "I miss you Gunner. I hope you go to heven. I mite see you there. I'll never see you ever ugen. Love, Nathanael"
Madison's card read, "Dear Gunner, I loved you ever sens you were born. I already miss you. Have fun in heven. P.S. Tell me what it is like. I love you so much. Love, Maddy"
Tears.
The doctors still don't know what happened. With his symptoms, their best theory is that he got into some moldy compost (we don't have one), specifically a tomato product. One good thing is they ruled out both of our 'guesses'. Colombo had put Preen on the lawn that same morning, but it was not that. A small puddle of some fluid from the van was on the garage floor (hence the van being in the shop) but it was not that. So although we aren't sure of the cause, we are confident that it was not negligence or something we really could have prevented.
Now that a few days have passed, it is a little easier. I really miss him. I just miss him being around. I miss him being outside with the kids. I miss looking out the window and seeing him. I miss knowing that I can take him for walks to feel safer. I miss the way he'd come to whatever room I was in and just lay down a few feet away- not to be a nuisance, just to be present. I'm sad that Rocco will never remember him. I'm sad that he wasn't around for another 10 years to be our 'family pet' that the kids grow up with and have fond memories of.
We decided to cremate him. The plan is to bury the ashes and have a little 'ceremony' for the kids' sake, so they can say goodbye and have closure.
Five years ago when we went to see the litter and pick one, there were 8 puppies kind of running around, playing. I saw this sweet little guy just laying over in the corner. I said, "That's the one I want. The mellow one." And that he was. I don't know if we will do another puppy, it's too soon to say, but even Colombo (who pretended not to like the dog, but secretly loved him) said, "It's gonna be hard to get another one as good as Gunner was." I don't want another dog. I want Gunner. We will most certainly miss him!
The day we brought him home
Such a sweet guy
The awkward teen years
Posing as Sandy- Hallelujah Night '07
Never phased by getting drooled on, ears pulled, hair yanked
See it?
He took his first 'real' bath in the big tub. Until now it's just been the kitchen sink. 
He snuggles all the time. Pick him up and he's head to chest right away. My friend was here one day. He picked Rocco up and Rocco nestled right in. My friend, who thought it was just the best, said, "Is he tired?" I said, "Nope. That's just what he does."
He's done the cutest thing for a couple months. When I lay him in his crib, I put him on his stomach and he reaches back with one hand for me to cover him with the blanket. He takes it and kinda tucks himself in....so, so cute.
We just love, love, LOVE him!!!
In the end, her duet scored the best (Diamond), but it was a fun weekend. The whole family went for the Saturday session and then out to eat afterwards. On Sunday, just Maddy and me! It was also a charity event, raising money for Kids for Kids.
Actually, these are Rocco's pants, but Trevor makes such a style statement in them--all day long! He's also fond of wearing sweater vests...by themself. Tonight he went to church with one UNDER his tshirt.
an adventure with Pop and 
