Week 19

Monday, May 7th
I didn't take a picture this day, only a screenshot of one of the sweetest anniversary wishes I've ever seen.  Posted by Mr. Osborn to his bride.  They were good friends of my parents growing up.  We were good friends with their kids through elementary school.  I love this!

Tuesday, May 8th

C4 LOVED this show and always loved Steve more than the other dude.

 Wednesday, May 9th

Renna doesn't go anywhere without making a new friend.  These two hit it off down at the park and I had a lovely conversation with Gramma who cares for her two granddaughters 3 days a week. Interestingly enough, Gramma recognized Trevor from the shows!!!

We met up with Casey and the boys for ice cream since the Dads were in Peru together.  I didn't know it was possible to get kicked out of an outdoor roadside ice cream stand, but that's just about what happened.  This crew was sufficiently animated and the staff was happy to see us go.

C4 was invited down to Florida for a few days of Kelly's family's vacation.  It stung to see this picture.  We never made Disney a priority.  I don't know why.  Maybe because neither C3 or I have ever been.  We always told the kids we didn't want to go until we were done with strollers and naps.  Well then I kept having babies.  Now we're done with strollers and naps but it just never happened.  Silly, since all we have to do is hop in the van and stay with family there.  We've done a lot of fun things, but never Disney and it stung just a little bit to have my firstborn experience it without me, even though I only have myself to blame.

Thursday, May 10th

Dumb and Dumber.  And Dumbest. (in no particular order)

 Look what I came across!  2007.

Friday, May 11th

Colombo's 5th trip to Peru and they got the church built in a record 3-1/2 days.  They dedicated it the next day.  Schools were closed and the whole village came, including the mayor as this is now the nicest building in the village.

Reason #142 why I love Prime:

Saturday, May 12th

This crew went to "Hot Music" together.  Such a fun night filled with Broadway hits.  Oh! and the handsome one in the middle made it back from Peru this day.

Sunday, May 13th

This was a tough Mother's Day.  It isn't always an easy holiday for me.  And I suspect I'm not alone in this.  The day started without a 'plan' and uncooperative weather.  My attitude quickly unraveled.  I'm not proud of the way I acted which led me to a hard place of self-reflection which led to an even harder place of sorting things out in my head and why this day can be hard.  Yet my expectations are often unattainably high which is a toxic and hurtful blend.

Thankfully, I was able to pull myself up in time for a lovely and fun and lively and love-filled time around the dinner table. My children lavished underserved and generous love and praise on me.  The three teenagers in particular all wrote extremely kind and loving letters to me that leveled me and turned me into a puddle of tears.  Wow.  I suppose the day in some ways was exactly what motherhood consistently is: failing, falling short, making mistakes, beating one's self up, but in the end...those precious, resilient kids see their mom through a lens of unconditional love and warped perfection.  They forgive without being asked and somehow convince you that you are loved and you are enough.

It's Official...

6.1.18 | It's official.  The paperwork is in and Maddy has been accepted into an elite dance program in Brea, California.  After researching our options, visiting, and a lot of prayer, we feel this is the right time to pursue this opportunity to help Maddy get to the next level in her dance career, whatever that may be.  In this mentoring program, she will be exposed to many choreographers, agents, and learn the inner-workings of the industry.  She will continue with her homeschool studies, train all day, and live with an incredible host family that we met when we visited.  God has worked out the details and we appreciate any prayer, encouragement, and support while she's away September through May. We are thrilled for her but sad to lose her here at home as you can imagine! Forever grateful for Kandie Melendez and the entire Northstar family for everything they've done to help her get to this point.

This is such a great opportunity for her.  The program, The Launch, is specifically designed to 'launch' dancers to the next level.  When we visited Cali, I went hunting for one red flag.  I just needed ONE to shut the whole thing down. But I failed on my mission.  Instead, details and puzzle pieces fell into place and by lunch on the first day after interviewing with the owners and tutor, I sobbed across the table from Colombo realizing this just might happen.

On paper, it's the perfect fit for her.  Except that it is just.so.far.  The quantity and quality of training as far as dance is concerned is exactly what she needs.  She has outgrown Manchester and Miss Kandie told her last summer that she needed to move on.  I thought it was so classy and selfless of Kandie to tell her "I've taught you everything I know, now fly, Little Birdie." Or something like that.  Since that conversation in July, the two of them have had more conversations and shed more tears, knowing this is the right thing.  Kandie loses a dancer, but she also loses a teacher, choreographer, and friend.

Anyway, this program will offer exposure to so much of the dance world.  Guest choreographers, teachers, and agents come in.  She will be constantly exposed to people who are well-networked in the industry.  They have a nutritionist and personal trainer that works with the girls for overall health and fitness.  They are constantly working with the camera and building their reels and resumes.  A tutor helps with homeschool studies.  It's a small (20 students) but well-rounded program owned and run by a lovely husband and wife couple.  She's the dance 1/2 of the team and he's the production and industry 1/2 of the team.  They both have years of experience in entertainment with many, many great connections.  Their 16 year old daughter is also a part of the program so they make it the best that it can be.  Their genuine care for the girls shines through.  The group journals and talks about things.  They've created a positive environment for everyone to grow and thrive within.

Just in the two days we were there, an agent came to give a seminar about how to promote yourself as an artist, creating resumes, etc.  That hour long seminar was worth our trip to California.  The girls were able to ask all their questions and learned so much about auditioning and the chess game of making it as a performer.  And that was just a regular Thursday special!  We also were there for headshot day and got to come home with these:

Though we will miss her terribly from September 'til May (like, really miss her!  She is a sweet spirit in our home, an invaluable help, a strong backbone, a rock, a constant, a sure smile, a peacemaker, a nurturer, and one of my very best friends) I know that it will be a great way to spend her senior year.  I'm excited for the opportunity.  My real fear is that she will settle there, get established, marry some west coast guy, and have babies that I'll never see!  That's my real concern.  

For next year, we'll rely on FaceTime and once-a-month visits.  We're grateful for Rick and Renee who live 40 minutes from there and will let us stay with them and use their car whenever we go out.  They've committed to do anything they can to support her while she's there.  We're grateful for Aria who just moved there and is only 45 minutes away.  I know the girls will get together and that will feel like home.  Plus Aria will take her on all sorts of 'let's see Cali' adventures.  We're grateful for Jamie Grace reaching out to Maddy and offering any help she can in making connections with people she knows, maybe collaborating on another project, and being a mentor to her.  We're grateful for lots of extended family, both mine and Colombo's, that live within an hour...just in case.  We're grateful for a wonderful host family- Gina, the tutor- and her husband, two kids, and Golden Retriever and their beautiful home with a great set-up.  We're grateful for her roommate who's a sweet Christian girl from Alabama.  

It's gonna be great.  It's gonna be great.  It's gonna be great.  I keep reminding myself.  But man!  I'm gonna miss my girl.  She will leave a gaping hole here at home, at the studio, at the church, and in my heart.  God has gifted her and He will use her.  Somehow in some way at some time.  It's just the letting go that is hard.