100th Post

I tried to come up with some wonderful idea to mark my 100th post! No such luck. Last Friday we joined other homeschoolers at the CPTV Science Expo. I think this was our 4th year going to it. They have tons of booths set up for the kids to learn and do hands-on activities. I let Trevor out of his stroller for a bit. He did a great job staying right with me. He went NUTS when he saw this cardboard cut-out. He was pointing and screeching, "Melmo, Melmo!" Which, by the way was his first real word. He was so proud to pose for a picture, as if he'd come face to face with his favorite celebrity or the President.

The Excellent Wife, chapter five

This chapter dealt with reproof. Ouch! This is definitely not my favorite subject. I think I'd rather read about submission! "A reproof is an expression of censure or rebuke." The author writes in the chapter of "progressive sanctification" which is the process of growing and maturing and becoming more like Christ. Husbands and wives learn how to properly give and receive reproofs so that each can become more like the Lord Jesus Christ. I know I'm great at giving reproof! You know the NOT biblical kind. I could probably categorize it more like criticism or nagging or just being mean. You know, when the only motive is to be right.

I was challenged even more by changing how I RECEIVE reproof from my husband. It's never fun to hear that my 'perfectness' is out of whack and that either my words, actions, or attitudes or not godly, but we are such selfish creatures, I think that sometimes it has to be pointed out by someone else before we can really see where we are wrong.

Recently, during an argument, my husband told me I was full of pride. I was so angry with him to dare say those words to me. And because he hasn't read "The Exemplary Husband" yet, he probably did not deliver in the most loving way. Nevertheless, over the next few weeks, I really thought about it. It was hard and painful, but I really had to examine my attitude and try to see what he was talking about. I certainly did not think I was full of pride, but it scared me to hear. I know ALL the Proverbs about pride and I certainly didn't want to fall into that category.

As I made it a matter of self-examination and prayer, the Holy Spirit began to reveal to me how sometimes my words and actions are driven by my pride, and even worse how my non-actions, like not apologizing when I'm wrong, are a result of my pride. That pride is a quick way to hard heart...against my husband and against God.

I need to ask God, "What are You trying to teach me?" instead of being defensive and pointing the finger. As they say, 'When you point your finger, there are 3 pointing back at you.

Spelling Bee

We watched "Spellbound" a documentary following 8 contestants to the National Spelling Bee. It was hilarious! Anyway, the kids have been doing their own little bees since. They usually request it when I announce that it's time for bed....a new stall tactic! So here's some footage of Trevor getting in on the action. I'm sure as he figures out how to talk he'll be a great speller.

Boys Will Be Boys

There's a pack of boys from church that C4 is best buds with. These 6 guys are all '99 kids and 3 of them were in January. They're all growing up together in church and are all great kids. My friend Linda invited them all over for a day during April vacation. This was their find during a hike in the woods.

So gross!!! They weren't positive, but all clues seem to lead to a deer! Linda was kind enough to let all the boys keep a portion of this lovely discovery. I laugh because she is typically the LAST mom to allow something like this. She would freak when Trevor's pacifier would fall on the floor and I'd give it back to him (Come on, he's the fourth kid!)

Anyway, I heard that one boy had to get rid of his immediately upon arriving at home. Another's mom soaked the skull in bleach for 2 days before he was allowed to touch it again. Boys will be boys!!!

More Horsin' Around

Madison's at it again! This girl has quite the imagination and is so careful to involve her brothers and make it fun for everyone.

Horsin' Around

So as I stated previously, I've tried to catch Trevor in the act of talking his cute jibber-jabber. Every time the camera comes out, he stops. Similarly, since he was like 16 months, when we bow our heads at dinner, he folds his hands and scrunches his eyes closed. Every time I try to tape it, he just stares at the camera. Well, I sort of got it today. It's not his best show, but still cute. Yesterday there was one potato chip on his tray. Midway through the prayer he picked up the chip, eyes still scrunched closed, took a bite, set it down, and returned to folded hands...never opening his eyes...very funny.

Springtime Fun

As it warms up, and the cherry blossoms and forsythia pop, the kids stole an afternoon playing together in the backyard. It started out to be golfing. As I listened from the kitchen, I could tell that this was no longer hitting golf balls.

Madison brought me a mini bouquet of beautiful dandelions and Nathanael gave me a vinca minor blossom. It started last spring when he was 3. Nathanael almost always comes inside from playing bearing a flower and big grin. It melts my heart and I'm so happy it looks like the habit will last another season.

The Excellent Wife, chapter four

In this chapter, Martha Peace again brings us back to the fundamental truth that as you "desire to have a normal relationship with your husband, you must become like and act like Jesus." The biggest change in my thinking which this book has provoked is to stop thinking simply about pleasing my husband and keeping my marriage together. It's a bigger picture. It's doing what we ought to do and bringing glory to God. I should desire oneness and intimacy with my husband, not only for marital harmony, but also so that the world would see the harmony and know the Father's love.

It's so encouraging to know that this relationship thing is not some big web that we must untangle with our own understanding, but instead, we can look at the perfect model in the Trinity...the God-head 3 in 1, Father, Spirit, Son. God designed relationships and then gave us the manual, the Bible, wherein lies all of the answers to untangling the web.

Seems simple, right? If we have all of the answers, why doesn't every relationship work? As Peace writes, "unfortunately though, sinful man has perverted each and every godly characteristic." It is our responsibility, but also our choice to put off that sin and act like Jesus. We need to not ask, "What will it do for me? or What will I get out of it?", but rather ask, "How can we glorify God?"--The big picture. Simple? Yes. Easy? No.

My prayer is this...to let go of my pride; to communicate biblically and in love; to not settle for what the world would settle for; to live for Him and in doing so act like Jesus, including within my marriage; to be married forever... Happily ever after.

A Special Day

Colombo's brother Nick (a.k.a. Crazy Uncle Nicky) is finishing his Master's at the Yale School of of Divinity. It was his turn to preach at the chapel service. He asked the kids to do the scripture reading. We were so proud of him. He looked totally handsome, did a great job preaching, and orchestrated a beautiful service, including a great little David Crowder-ish version of 'All Creatures #2' with acoustic guitar, drums, piano and 2 violins. Great job, Nick!!!

Maddy's Party

This year for her party, Madison wanted to have a few friends over for a sleepover for her birthday. It was super fun, but man, 6 girls are so screechy and giggly and chatty. Wow! They went down about 9:30, and after about my 6th trip up the stairs at 11:00 I said, "OK, girls this is the last time I'm coming up. Next time it will be Mr. DiSalvatore." By 11:30, there was nothing but silence coming from the room.

Last night Madison chose to serve chicken nuggets and mac-n-cheese and then we did ice cream. Then the girls had a treasure hunt with 7 clues to lead them to their goody bags. They screamed like school-girls through the entire thing. This morning, Colombo made pancakes for everyone. The oldest girl painted nails and did hair.

Overall, I think it was a success. After they all left, it was wonderfully quiet. It will definitely be a year before it happens again.

The Excellent Wife, chapter three

This chapter dealt with sin. Specifically we as wives need to understand our own sin, how to deal with past and present sin, and the consequences of sin. It was an EXCELLENT reminder of what sin really is. Especially considering the fact that the world is so deceived about what sin is and isn't. Our Pastor just preached last week that 77% of Americans profess to be a Christian. This is a far different percentage than what he refers to as a 'Biblical Christian.' Often people think of sin as the really bad stuff like murder, but the author here reminds us that even an unkind word is sin.

Early in our marriage, my husband and I sought some marital counseling. I sat on the couch with my arms crossed waiting for the counselor to tell my husband what he needed to do to change. That didn't happen. Instead he sent us home with homework...to memorize Ephesians 4:29-32. "Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."

It's really hard to not point the finger of wrong at yourself when you read this. I was full of bitterness and anger and used harsh words, but I was worried about my husband's 'felonies' instead of my 'misdemeanors.' However, it is all sin. Sin which cannot be hidden from God and sin which is justly penalized.

I wanted to comment on the section of "How to Deal with the Consequences of Former Sin." A great resource is Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus. It was recommended at a Family Life Conference and I found it highly helpful for many reasons, but one of the sections was specific to dealing with past sin.

It's important to remember that all sin will affect our marriage. It's not just an adulterous relationship! It's unkind words, impatience, anger, bitterness, UN FORGIVENESS and many other things that have a tendency to just creep in. To combat, we have to renew our minds (Romans 12:2) and train ourselves for the purpose of godliness (1 Timothy 4:7). And thank God for His grace! We could never do this on our own, but the Holy Spirit will equip us. We need to continually immerse ourselves in Christ. To be in communion with Him and to strive to be more like Jesus.

I'm so thankful we have God's word as a manual. Every answer we need is right in the Bible. I appreciate how Martha Peace laces scripture throughout her text and backs up every point she makes with scripture.

It's a challenge to hold ourselves to a higher standard than the examples we see around us in the world. I am half way through a women's mentoring Bible study based on Titus 2 where some older women are teaching us younger women. It has been so beneficial to listen to these wives who have successful marriages and their children are the fruit that we hope our kids turn out to be. I'm grateful for that group and this book reading. It's encouraging to be in the boat with others.

Cute Story

Yesterday I was checking out at Target. I had my purchases on the belt and Trevor was struggling to worm his way out of the cart. I said, "Just a minute. We need to pay."

He folded his little hands, scrunched his eyes closed, and bowed his head.

Madison's Birthday Weekend

Madison celebrated her 7th birthday! How can that be?! Her party is next weekend and she'll have a few friends come spend the night, but over the weekend she had a few special treats. On Saturday, my Dad took her to a special tea house...a great excuse for a foofy dress and hat!

Then on Sunday, her big day, we visited my sister's chuch for their 3rd Annual International Day. Lisa sang. Shaun read. And Avery was the smallest participant, stealing out hearts.

After, we grabbed pizza and cake. Later in the evening, Ninny made dinner and we had a 2nd cake!!! I know this is Mad's birthday, but check Trevor's moves!

Madison is the treasure I never thought I'd have. I never thought I'd get a girl out of my husband who is one of three boys and his dad is mostly boys and his dad is mostly boys. She is considerate, caring, thoughtful, wise beyond her years. She tells me when I'm wearing something that doesn't look good. She loves shoe shopping....she's the whole package. I'm so thankful to God for entrusting her to me for these few short years. I love you Maddy-Girl!

TJ's talking???

I have tried on several occasions to get Trevor to talk on camera. I'm sure I'm not the only one to have "the moment" vanish as soon as the camera comes out. Here are a few videos at my "attempt." He does this story telling where we have no idea what he's saying, but he does. He gets very serious. Sometimes he'll stick his lips out and bat his eyes. It's very cute!

His repertoire consists of Melmo (Elmo), Dad, Mama, Dhat (please), hi, bye, Boz, and bath.

Field Day

We participated in the 2nd Annual Homeschooler's Field Day at a local college. It's very well run in their NEW state-of-the-art field and tack house. The kids had a blast and, keeping with tradition, we brought Isaac along.

Here's Nathanael. He looks cool, but this was a VERY brave moment he worked up to.

They had a corner just for the pre-schoolers.

Soccer Ends

Madison played her second year of indoor soccer. Last year she was timid and passive. This year she took it very seriously and was much more aggresive. She was enthusiastic, a good sport, and very encouraging to her teammates.

The Excellent Wife, chapter two

Let me just explain that this entry is for a reading group that I'm taking part in with other Christian wives from all over the country. I don't apologize for anything written, but will tell you that my opinions are strong...proceed with caution. *smile*

The sentence that struck me the most in this chapter was, "Therefore, when you are under your husband's (limited by God) authority, you are really putting yourself in the safest possible place-in God's will." I think often times when 'submission' is discussed, it has a negative and old-fashioned connotation. As if women who submit to their husbands are sacrificing something or missing out. But really, this is the safest place to be. I'm not missing out on anything. However, on page 7 in the study guide, the question was, "Why does a wife need protection from the influence of the world? Can you think of any personal examples where you have been wrongly infulenced by the world?" - I think one big one is this idea of equality that gets shoved down our throats. It seems as though everything on t.v. is putting down men. It's wives who trash talk their husbands. And mothers telling their children how stupid their fathers are. The idea that men are useless idiots. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that I'm an American women with all my rights, but I definitely think that God has put my husband in authority over me for a reason.

A couple years ago I had a discussion with a friend who couldn't understand why women were not allowed to serve on our church board. Back then my response was, are you crazy?! Women are way too emotional to be dealing with decisions that get made there. But Martha Peace does such an eloquent job of writing (beginning on p. 16) how there are some responsibilities and burdens that God just does not intend for women to carry. Which is great!!!! We, women carry enough, don't you think?---probably mostly self-induced. Now I know that these verses and even this entry will get some women fired up. But again, I believe this is pressure from the world. As Peace states, it's not that we are less valuable or less inteligent. It's just that God has put the perfect structure into place. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. His ways are higher than our ways. Maybe we first need to submit to that. Submit to God and concede that He created the perfect authority structure and the safest place for us to be is in His will.

I realize this is not average thinking. But I do not want to be average. Nor do I want an average marriage that has a better than 50% chance of failing. I'm so tired of how things get just a little twisted and people buy into it as truth. For example, how a man who was formerly a woman can become pregnant and this is accepted and praised because afterall, "it's love that defines a family."

What I want is the safety of God's will. So call me intolerant, call me old-fashioned, but I intend to continue to strive to be in His will and submit to my husband's authority.

I also wanted to comment on the paragraph at the top of p.16, "The Bible says that being a 'worker at home' is a virtue (Titus 2:5)". If I haven't already gotten some girls mad at me, then I'm sure this will. I know there are some situations that will not allow for it, but I think whenever possible, there is nothing more valuable than the time that you can be at home with your kids. The world would say "You need a job to feel fulfilled or valued" or "You need to work to attain these material things- more clothes, a bigger house, etc."

I talked with a friend the other night. She runs around crazy, dropping her 2 young kids off to 2 different sitters to work a stress-filled 50-65 hour per week job just to bring home a very small amount after paying the sitters, who she admits are raising her girls. It just saddened me so much to hear that she's selling out, missing out, and sacrificing this time that she'll never have back for this little bit of money which probably only bumps them into the next tax bracket, etc. etc.

So, obviously this is my strong opinion. Martha Peace put it much nicer if you're interested in reading the book.

The Excellent Wife, chapter one

I think the one thing that really grabbed me in this chapter was the challenge to not just be a good wife for my husband, but to see the bigger picture and be obedient to God and be the kind of wife God wants me to be, not just the kind that keeps peace in the marriage.

I was reminded of a friend's story. Her young son asked his dad what the ring on his finger was for. The dad's reply was, "That's my promise to God that I will stay married to your mom forever."

It's more than just a promise between a man and a woman. The bigger picture is that it is a covenant with God...which changes everything.

It's this same 'big picture' thinking that challenged me in this chapter. It's not good enough that my husband and I are happy with the way things are. (Although that is nice!) But it's a calling to be obedient to God as to how I serve and respect my husband and act as a wife.