The Excellent Wife, chapter fourteen

I was halfway through this chapter when I finally realized what I was "missing" in this book. While I agree with nearly all of the material and appreciate the truth on each page, I came to realize that I find myself muddling through it because the content is so impersonal. There is NO humor. Neither are there many practical or personal examples.

I was on page 166 reading "suppose a wife spends the whole day cleaning her house and cooking a special dinner for her husband, only to have him come home from work in a bad, critical mood. Instead of showing his appreciation for his wife's efforts, what if he angrily blasts her because she forgot to dust the mantle or burned the beans? In response to such unkind, insensitive, thoughtless behavior, she might briefly entertain murderous thoughts." I stopped and smiled and thought, OK I can relate to this!

It was one of the few illustrations used so far, but this is LIFE. I love the principles Peace uses and love even more the scriptures she laces throughout to back everything up, but I realized that the impersonal flavor of the book is what I struggle with. Obviously this is only my personality and opinion, but thought I would share my realization with others who are reading the book.

This chapter walked us through eight resources wives can implement in order to protect themselves. These are God's provision for us:
1. Communicate Biblically

• "No skill will help a wife more in conflict with her husband than the ability to communicate biblically."

2. Overcome Evil With Good
3. Make A Biblical Appeal
4. Give A Biblical Reproof
5. Respond Biblically To Foolish Demands

• "If [the wife] has done wrong, she should first acknowledge her wrong."
• "Through presumption comes nothing, but strife." I once read that when you ASSUME it makes an A** of U + ME. (excuse my language...but I think it's a true statement.)

6. Seek Godly Counsel
7. Church Discipline
8. Involve the Governing Authorities

A lot of the previous chapters were focused on the wife's behavior. This one focused more of how a wife can biblically RESPOND to a husband's behavior, particularly a husband's sin. It started with communicating gently in conflict and worked all the way up to going to the authorities in the case of abuse and everything in between.

The common 'theme' I walked away with was when a wife is responding to her husband, she needs to be sure of her motives. She cannot reprove her husband with the intent of making things easier for herself. She cannot speak about her husband's sin to church leaders for the simple purpose of gossiping or exposing his sin. Appeals should not be made to be manipulative or to get her own way. Her motive needs to always be obedience to God and restoration of the relationship. "The more she submits to God and her husband in a biblical way, the more likely her husband is to repent and turn to God."